WEEK FOUR…Jan Porter
Now that you realize that you are codependent and you are working not to be codependent, there is another ugly matter that
pops through called Boundaries.
You don’t have any! The people you have been trying to “fix” have crossed many of your boundaries. The longer you stay
codependent the more your boundaries will be crossed.
But because you were trying to “fix” their issues you allowed things to happen that should not have been accepted.
What are your boundaries. Have you been dishonored? How does that make you feel? Think or write your feelings down. Has it
been so long that you have not even though or realized that you were being dishonored? It is time to begin learning to set healthy
Write down five boundaries to begin. Pray over them. Write them where you go often around your home or car or office. Start your day reading what your boundaries are. Make note of when someone is crossing that boundary. When you finally get comfortable with your new lifestyle or not being codependent and you have set boundaries; it is time to implement your boundaries in your daily life.
May I suggest a wonderful book called “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
The book gives examples of how people have crossed boundaries and helpful ways to not accept people to cross your boundaries in a Godly manner.
If you are in a domestic violence relationship, I can assure you that you have become codependent and your boundaries have been
~Do you try and fix things your abuser has done
~Do you cover up for them
~Do you miss events and opportunities because the abuser may get upset
~Do you make excuses
~Do you forget to take care of yourself as your body is God’s temple because your time and energy go to helping your abuser
What have you given away by being codependent without boundaries. Begin living the life that God has planned for you as His child.