Domestic Violence

2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV “For we live by faith, not by sight. When was the last time faith rose in you? In that moment, you didn’t consider the circumstance; you considered the Lord. Faith sees differently. Faith speaks differently. Faith makes different decisions. Faith lives, and you live by faith. Without it, you cannot please the Lord (Heb. 11:6). Faith is evidence that you trust God. It is evidence that you
believe Him. And with faith comes obedience. If there is no obedience, there is no faith. It’s no wonder why true life for the believer is lived by faith.

Today, you have an opportunity to have faith in God. How can you live by faith while in your home, on your job or wherever you are? “Faith assures us of things we expect and convinces us of the existence of things we cannot see,” (Heb. 11:1, GW). Faith isn’t double minded. It isn’t wishful thinking. Instead, faith sees something, says something, and does something based on God’s word. So, let faith rise as the Kingdom of God advances!

Week’s prayer:

“Lord, thank You for providing the Faith I need to live each day.”

Action:

How have you demonstrated faith during a challenging time?

Mark 11:24 – Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Life with God leads you to live differently. Because of your faith in Jesus, you make certain decisions and resist the urge to make other ones. When was the last time you decided differently because of the Holy Spirit’s leading? Perhaps at one time you thought you would marry one person, but because of God, you chose differently. Maybe at another time, you planned on receiving one job opportunity, but the Lord showed you something better. If you have lived long enough, you have made difficult decisions by faith.

Perhaps you are at a crossroads yet again. Maybe you have been wrestling with options, but you don’t know which one to choose. Both routes appear good. Though you may not know what to do yet, it doesn’t mean you will never know. So, talk to your Father. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your steps. And He will. In His time, He will.

Week’s Prayer:

“Lord, send clarity so that I may decide wisely concerning my circumstance.”

Action:

How have you demonstrated faith during a challenging time?

Mark 10:52 “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

Has God shown you a dream about your future? Maybe you are living in it right now. Or perhaps you are in the waiting room. If you believe what the Lord has revealed, you will do something. You will prepare for what God has prepared for you. As you go, God will
go with you. Remember that in moments when you are waiting on the Lord, sometimes He is waiting on you. If you ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern the difference, He will.

Consider James’ words: “So too, faith, if it does not have works [to back it up], is by itself dead [inoperative and ineffective],” (Ja. 2:17, AMP). Action is evidence that faith lives. And God called you to live by faith. No matter what the enemy hurls your way, live by faith. No matter what people say about you, live by faith. God’s word is true. His plans won’t fail. So, be one who acts upon what the Lord reveals.

Week’s Prayer:

“Lord, help me feed my faith and starve my fears and doubts.”

Action:

What is one step you can take today to feed your faith?

Hebrew 11:3 “By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.”

Today, you don’t have to know everything. You don’t even have to understand everything. When God has spoken, when He has promised, let faith live in and through you. What are you waiting on? What are you watching for? For some, the wait is long. For others, it’s within reach. No matter the length of time, Hope in God. None of His words fall to the ground fruitless. Each word from the Lord is productive. His words produce. His words prevail. God’s words prosper.

If you’re in the middle of a long night, don’t give up. Hope in God. If you’ve travailed through a difficult road, let hope arise. The Lord sees the end before it begins. He planned for it. He prepares you for it. He develops you through it. And the end result is good as you live in Him. Resist the urge to get weary. Hope. Have faith. Trust. God will walk you through.

Week’s Prayer:

“Lord, make me one who hopes in You because of the faith You provide.”

Action:

As a result of your faith, what are you hoping for?

Difficult Conversations/Difficult People

(How to have that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding)

Week 1

When you think about the characteristics of a difficult person…what words or phrases come to your mind? Obnoxious, hurtful, demeaning, invasive, irritable, rigid, selfish,disrespectful, pushy, insensitive, etc? These are just a few descriptions of people we sometimes encounter. Maybe you are thinking of the critical parent that questions all your decisions about how you are raising your child or the “control freak” who wants to control everything and everybody. And what about the manipulator who does and says whatever they can to pressure you into doing what they want and if you don’t, they get mad, withhold love and try to control you with their anger.

Perhaps you are thinking about that friend that keeps you on the phone for hours even after you have tried to hang up.

Difficult Conversations/Difficult People

(How to have that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding)

Week 2

Well, we have all encountered different situations and people in our lives that are hard to deal with…some are more toxic than others, but the truth is that we must learn to deal with the people who are not respecting us, not valuing who we are and who are STEALING OUR PEACE! Romans 12:18 says “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” The key word here is the word “if.

The truth here is that sometimes it is not possible to live at peace with some people. So how do we deal with those people and those difficult situations? Do we just let it go, hoping they will change or do we just allow our anger to turn into resentment? We all know that ignoring a problem doesn’t usually solve a problem or make it go away. So what do we do?

I would like to give you some practical ways to counteract these negative behaviors. Remember, the goal is to preserve the relationship, “if at all possible,” as the scripture says.

Difficult Conversations/Difficult People

(How to have that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding)

Week 3

I would like to give you some practical ways to counteract these negative behaviors. Remember, the goal is to preserve the relationship,“if at all possible,” as the scripture says.

Be observant: Recognize the manipulation or the “guilt trip.” We are often vulnerable to manipulation of others and end up doing things we later regret. Have you ever agreed to do something then later regretted it? You think, “Why did I say I would head up that fund raiser?”

Also, be aware of the “guilt trip” others use as a method to control.

Ask yourself these questions: Am I being disrespected? Taken advantage of? Verbally abused? What is lacking in this relationship? What’s important to me? What do I need to confront?

Recognize your feelings. Ask yourself. What are my feelings right now? Feelings are signals and it is important to take note of certain emotions like anger, fear or sadness. God designed these feelings to tell us something is wrong and that we need to take action. A good example of this is the warning light in your car…if you ignore it, then you will likely have a problem with your engine or you might run out of gas. It is the same way with your anger, it is a warning signal that something is wrong and needs our attention. So it’s important to get in touch with your feelings.

Pray! It goes without saying that when you finally decide to have that needed conversation, pray about how you are going to approach the situation. Ask God to show you the truth and how to address it.

Difficult Conversations/Difficult People

(How to have that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding)

Week 4

In addition to last weeks blog…..

Make others aware of the problem. Many times just making someone aware of the effect they are having on you will correct the situation. In their book, Boundaries Face to Face, Cloud and Townsend have a complete chapter on awareness. They write: “If someone in your life behaves in a way that causes problems, but they don’t know their behavior is a problem, then you are dealing with unawareness!” So we must be able to tell them how they are impacting our life.

Only then, will they be able to correct the problem.

Confront in love. However, don’t do it through a text or email; Do it in person, depending on the situation.

Go hard on the issue; soft on the person Avoid the line, “We need to talk.”

Timing is key. (Don’t have the conversation in a crowded restaurant or late at night)

Affirm something positive. Remember to say something about the intended positive outcome you desire for the relationship Be direct and use specific examples. Don’t “beat around the bush.” The clearer you are, the better chance the person will have, to understand what you are saying.

In conclusion, after you have been confronted in love, and made a request for change, the person has a choice if they are going to do things differently or not. If they choose not to change, then you also have a choice to set a boundary along with consequences. To have healthy relationships, we must be able to confront things that are hurting us and have the courage to have those difficult conversations.

My wedding was not a shotgun wedding, and I said those wedding vows of my own free will. The words were ringing in my ears: What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I promise to love her until death do us apart. Love is a very complex emotion sometimes. It can give you so much happiness and so much disappointment. It can make you laugh and make you cry. It can rob you of sound judgment and cause you to end up staying in places no sane person would stay in.

At home that Sunday evening, she did apologize, but her apology didn’t match the offense. It’s one thing to say I’m sorry for raising my voice at you and asking for forgiveness. However, it’s a whole other ballgame to apologize for a physical assault and expect immediate forgiveness and reconciliation. The abuser always has a way of making you feel bad for not forgiving them quickly, especially when you are a Christian. Their favorite line is, “You’re supposed to forgive me because you’re a Christian.” Their other favorite line is, “You’re not perfect either.” I bought it hook, line, and sinker.