Difficult Conversations/Difficult People
(How to have that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding)
Week 4
In addition to last weeks blog…..
Make others aware of the problem. Many times just making someone aware of the effect they are having on you will correct the situation. In their book, Boundaries Face to Face, Cloud and Townsend have a complete chapter on awareness. They write: “If someone in your life behaves in a way that causes problems, but they don’t know their behavior is a problem, then you are dealing with unawareness!” So we must be able to tell them how they are impacting our life.
Only then, will they be able to correct the problem.
Confront in love. However, don’t do it through a text or email; Do it in person, depending on the situation.
Go hard on the issue; soft on the person Avoid the line, “We need to talk.”
Timing is key. (Don’t have the conversation in a crowded restaurant or late at night)
Affirm something positive. Remember to say something about the intended positive outcome you desire for the relationship Be direct and use specific examples. Don’t “beat around the bush.” The clearer you are, the better chance the person will have, to understand what you are saying.
In conclusion, after you have been confronted in love, and made a request for change, the person has a choice if they are going to do things differently or not. If they choose not to change, then you also have a choice to set a boundary along with consequences. To have healthy relationships, we must be able to confront things that are hurting us and have the courage to have those difficult conversations.
