Men Are Abuse Victims, Too #4

hurt boy sitting on a park bench; dove of hope at cornerThe years I spent in a relationship with my abuser didn’t end when I moved out of the house, got married, and started my own family. What I had learned over the twenty plus years of cohabitation with my abuser became my way of living as an adult. I lived day to day as a “follower” always looking for direction from others. Always preferring to be told what to do rather than come up with my own ideas. By doing without much of my developmental years, I became in many ways a very selfish person when it came to doing things for others over looking out for myself and my interests.

Even though I now had the freedom to live my own life and make my own decisions, I still looked to listen and obey whoever would instruct me on what to do and how to do it. I tried to symbolically bury my abuser, (even though she was already deceased) so that she would no longer have an effect on my life. It wasn’t until I recently forgave her that I’ve felt some release from her hold on me.

If any of what you’ve read in my story over the past four weeks sounds like your life or someone you know, I urge you to get proper counsel from a professional, your church, or a friend you can trust. Don’t let it linger the way I did and waste countless years of your life. DV is a terrible thing, and whether you are a man or a woman, it can have an effect on you for a lifetime either mentally physically or both. My best advice to you is to deal with it NOW. Don’t endanger yourself and your well being hoping it will get better. You need to take care of you. Don’t let your abuser control you as I did. You can have a long and happy life ahead of you, but only if you escape the control of that abuser that wants to rule your life.

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