Why Does Domestic Violence Occur?

Why does domestic violence occur? 

Domestic violence is negative emotion channeled into a physical, mental or emotional the inappropriate outburst onto the significant other.  This outburst, which is overwhelmingly male-to-female violence is due to a combination of stress, poor impulse control and a lack of appropriate coping mechanisms. Men who have witnessed or experienced violence in their family are more likely to perpetrate it in their romantic relationships.

For couples, domestic violence tends to persist in a cycle.  First, tension builds between the batterer and the woman. Second, the perpetuation of violence and third, the abuser appears calm and loving, begs for forgiveness, and promises to seek help. During this third phase, the man acts deferentially, often showering his partner with attention and gifts and treating her like a queen.  Victims tend to avoid seeking help or stop any legal action against partners during this phase.

Domestic violence persists because of silence. Victims who often feel scared or ashamed remain quiet, avoid getting help or letting others know about what is happening to them.  Unfortunately, this silence, which is understandable, tends to reinforce the idea that domestic violence is uncommon and should remain a private matter.

In order to end the cycle of domestic violence, we must come together, express empathy for victims, and intolerance for abusers.  If you, or if someone you know is being harmed in your home, you are not alone.  Please get help and let others know what is happening. 

Let’s make this Valentine’s Day the beginning of the end of the cycle of domestic violence.

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