I often wondered why my mom couldn’t or wouldn’t leave my father when he treated her so badly. As a Christian, she would never consider a divorce, or even a separation. Over the years, the behavior my father exhibited gradually became worse. I remember working up the courage as a teenager to ask mom why she put up with my father’s “temper tantrums” (that’s what I called them). She told me what I mentioned above- that she didn’t believe in divorce, that it wasn’t Biblical and was not something she would consider. She also told me that he hadn’t always been this bad. The man she was married to now wasn’t the same person she married. Yes, that happens to a lot of people/marriages, I know.
What I wanted to know from mom was, had he ever been a “nice” person? What was it about him that caused her to fall in love and want to marry him? She was honest, and said she found him attractive/interesting, but it was also convenient because her sister was married to his brother, and she already loved the in-laws. She also freely admitted that she always wanted to get married and have a family. When I asked her if she regretted her decision to marry him (because of the way he treated her) and she said no. My sister and I were the best thing that had ever happened to her. I loved that response, but I always wanted to know WHY my my father was like he was. The answer (or my best educated guess) is coming next week.
There are Biblical reasons for divorce. Abuse in all forms is one of the reasons. There are many books that give biblical stories and scriptures. Two by Dr. David E. Clarke Ph.D “Enough Is Enough” and “I Didn’t Want A Divorce, ”It Started With A Hamburger” by Jan Porter and “Black Eyes and Sweet Talk” by Rev Michael Neely
