Mental Health and Abuse – Week 3

How do you set and keep those strong, unyielding boundaries? Start by deciding what you will and will not accept. What are your absolutes? If you need help figuring out what those are, ask a trusted friend (if you can) or observe healthy relationships around you to see how they treat each other. Will you tolerate someone yelling at you? If not, tell them very clearly that you will not accept it. If they continue to yell, calmly walk away. Leave the area if you can. For each boundary you set, have a plan to follow through on your promise to yourself. It’s not easy. It takes time. But it can and will make a difference if you can keep those boundaries in place. Tackle one or two boundaries at a time until you feel you have a good grasp on them. Give it time and consistency. One thing I learned watching my mom deal with my dad (who had a mental illness and was not able/willing to see it) is that it takes a LOT of time, strength, and courage to be consistent with your boundaries. She never really was able to be consistent until my dad ended up in a nursing home, when she was finally able to truly “walk away” when he started crossing boundaries-being emotionally and/or verbally abusive.