The Many Facets of Love – Week 1

My wedding was not a shotgun wedding, and I said those wedding vows of my own free will. The words were ringing in my ears: What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I promise to love her until death do us apart. Love is a very complex emotion sometimes. It can give you so much happiness and so much disappointment. It can make you laugh and make you cry. It can rob you of sound judgment and cause you to end up staying in places no sane person would stay in.

The Many Facets of Love – Week 2

At home that Sunday evening, she did apologize, but her apology didn’t match the offense. It’s one thing to say I’m sorry for raising my voice at you and asking for forgiveness. However, it’s a whole other ballgame to apologize for a physical assault and expect immediate forgiveness and reconciliation. The abuser always has a way of making you feel bad for not forgiving them quickly, especially when you are a Christian. Their favorite line is, “You’re supposed to forgive me because you’re a Christian.” Their other favorite line is, “You’re not perfect either.” I bought it hook, line, and sinker.

The Many Facets of Love – Week 3

The joy that I felt on my wedding day had now been replaced with doubt, fear, false guilt, and an uncertain future, but I was still in love. I had no idea that the same love that has your heart skipping a beat can also enslave and trap you. I now know that a love that abuses the object of that love is not pure love. It may be love, but it’s twisted and wounded and should never be tolerated. Love should always set us free and never enslave us.

I’m Out-Now What? – Week 1

The aftermath of coming out of an abusive relationship can be unnerving. Your feelings of relief may soon be replaced by doubt and a different type of fear. Thoughts of failure, wondering, Did I make the right decision, and the voices of critics can be overwhelming.

If there are children involved, they may be acting out because of what they are feeling and experiencing. It is difficult for children to express their feelings due to exposure to trauma.

The road to being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy takes time. The physical wounds heal quicker than the emotional wounds. Physiological scars run deep into the soul. There are also spiritual implications as well. Survivors may distrust God, their church and others who meant well.

Pastor Neely sits on the Advisory Committe for Reach Out Speak Out, FPEDV ( Florida Program Ending Domestic Violence, Hillsborough County Domestic Violence Task Force, Faith counselor for the Spring of Tampa Bay , is the lead pastor at New Millennium Community Church and is the author of Black Eyes and Sweet Talk

I’m Out-Now What? – Week 2

Too often survivors are rushed into forgiveness. This is not wise because it is what I call easy forgiveness. Unless the severity of the offense has been dealt with in detail the forgiveness is only superficial, and the survivor is never truly set free.

My advice for survivors is to participate in after care that is tailored towards your situation. I am convinced that professional
counseling, trauma counseling, domestic violence support groups, and being able to tell your story in a nonjudgmental environment will go a long way in helping victims become healthy.

Pastor Neely sits on the Advisory Committe for Reach Out Speak Out, FPEDV ( Florida Program Ending Domestic Violence,
Hillsborough County Domestic Violence Task Force, Faith counselor for the Spring of Tampa Bay , is the lead pastor atNew Millennium Community Church and is the author of Black Eyes and Sweet Talk

I’m Out-Now What? – Week 3

Finally, choosing the right organizations to seek help from is paramount. Healthy domestic violence organizations seek to
empower the victim instead of controlling them. You can easily become a victim of organizational abuse. The same principle applies to your place of worship. Choose a place of worship that places the sanctity of life above the sanctity of marriage.


Remember till death do us part
doesn’t mean until my spouse kills me.


Pastor Neely sits on the Advisory Committe for Reach Out Speak Out, FPEDV ( Florida Program Ending Domestic Violence, Hillsborough County Domestic Violence Task Force, Faith counselor for the Spring of Tampa Bay , is the lead pastor atNew Millennium Community Church and is the author of Black Eyes and Sweet Talk

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