Michael Neely

The aftermath of coming out of an abusive relationship can be unnerving. Your feelings of relief may soon be replaced by doubt and a different type of fear. Thoughts of failure, wondering, Did I make the right decision, and the voices of critics can be overwhelming.

If there are children involved, they may be acting out because of what they are feeling and experiencing. It is difficult for children to express their feelings due to exposure to trauma.

The road to being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy takes time. The physical wounds heal quicker than the emotional wounds. Physiological scars run deep into the soul. There are also spiritual implications as well. Survivors may distrust God, their church and others who meant well.

Pastor Neely sits on the Advisory Committe for Reach Out Speak Out, FPEDV ( Florida Program Ending Domestic Violence, Hillsborough County Domestic Violence Task Force, Faith counselor for the Spring of Tampa Bay , is the lead pastor at New Millennium Community Church and is the author of Black Eyes and Sweet Talk

Too often survivors are rushed into forgiveness. This is not wise because it is what I call easy forgiveness. Unless the severity of the offense has been dealt with in detail the forgiveness is only superficial, and the survivor is never truly set free.

My advice for survivors is to participate in after care that is tailored towards your situation. I am convinced that professional
counseling, trauma counseling, domestic violence support groups, and being able to tell your story in a nonjudgmental environment will go a long way in helping victims become healthy.

Pastor Neely sits on the Advisory Committe for Reach Out Speak Out, FPEDV ( Florida Program Ending Domestic Violence,
Hillsborough County Domestic Violence Task Force, Faith counselor for the Spring of Tampa Bay , is the lead pastor atNew Millennium Community Church and is the author of Black Eyes and Sweet Talk

Finally, choosing the right organizations to seek help from is paramount. Healthy domestic violence organizations seek to
empower the victim instead of controlling them. You can easily become a victim of organizational abuse. The same principle applies to your place of worship. Choose a place of worship that places the sanctity of life above the sanctity of marriage.

Remember till death do us part
doesn’t mean until my spouse kills me.

Pastor Neely sits on the Advisory Committe for Reach Out Speak Out, FPEDV ( Florida Program Ending Domestic Violence, Hillsborough County Domestic Violence Task Force, Faith counselor for the Spring of Tampa Bay , is the lead pastor atNew Millennium Community Church and is the author of Black Eyes and Sweet Talk