Love Shouldn’t Hurt
Do you or do you know someone that is dating and you just don’t feel comfortable with the relationship? Whether it is your own relationship or a friend that you see changing, take a moment to read some of the warning signs of dating violence below. You could save someone’s life from a relationship that is harder and harder to get out of due to the control of the abuser. Remember, an abuser wants to always be in control. If they feel they are losing the control of you or your friend, they will push a lot harder to keep it going. They do not want to lose.
Information from: www.ncdsv.org
What Are the Early Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence?
Researchers who study teen dating violence have identified several early warning signs that a dating relationship might be likely to turn violent. These warning signs do not mean a relationship will definitely turn violent. However, if you notice several of them in your relationship or partner, you may need to re- evaluate your dating relationship. These warning signs include:
- Excessive jealousy
- Constant checking in with you or making you check in with him or her
- Attempts to isolate you from friends and family
- Insulting or putting down people that you care about
- Is too serious about the relationship too quickly
- Has had a lot of bad prior relationships – and blames all of the problems on the previous partners
- Is very controlling
- This may include giving you orders, telling you what to wear, and trying to make all of the decisions for you
- Blames you when he or she treats you badly by telling you all of the ways you provoked him or her
- Does not take responsibility for own actions
- Has an explosive temper (“blows up” a lot)
- Pressures you into sexual activity with which you are not comfortable
- Has a history of fighting, hurting animals, or brags about mistreating other people
- Believes strongly in stereotypical gender roles for males and females
- You worry about how your partner will react to the things you say or you are afraid of provoking your partner
- Owns or uses weapons
- Refuses to let you end the relationship
What can you do if you notice these signs in your relationship?
Trust your intuition! If you believe there may be a problem in your relationship, you are probably right. Do not ignore the warning signs. Research has found that those who have a tendency to engage in relationship violence escalate their abuse over time. In other words, it gets worse over time, not better.
- Spend time with people you care about other than your partner
- Stay in touch with your friends
- Keep up with activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself
- You might consider looking into what help or resources might be available in your school or area
- You might also want to consider calling a domestic violence hotline or shelter for more information before you experience a crisis
Reach Out Speak Out
A faith based ministry helping victims of domestic violence within our faith community.