by Anonymous Survivor | Nov 3, 2023 | Domestic Violence
Almost 3 years after my first husband died, I met someone. I just wanted someone to hang out with. I thought. This man made me laugh more than I ever had. He had been through some similar life situations as me and we were about the same age so we had a lot of cultural...
by Anonymous Survivor | Nov 3, 2023 | Domestic Violence
“Codependent No More”. Stephanie Ellis Ecke has written on codependence here. Pia Mellody also did groundbreaking work and this infographic from here is pretty handy: Pia Mellody on Codependency (click to download) I’m including all of these links because when I first...
by Anonymous Survivor | Nov 3, 2023 | Domestic Violence, Leaving
On October 31 last year, I left my husband, the area I’d lived in for over 30 years, and headed for a new life in another state. This was the culmination of 10 years of a very unhealthy and frequently verbally and emotionally abusive marriage. It is probably the...
by Anonymous Survivor | Nov 3, 2023 | Domestic Violence
Breaking free isn’t the hardest part – well, at least it wasn’t for me. It was hard to leave my husband all alone, to leave my friends, to leave many sentimental belongings behind. But the part that’s really hard is choosing freedom. It was weeks – actually, probably...
by Eileen Gorski | Oct 4, 2023 | Domestic Violence
Over the next few weeks, I would like to discuss the phases of domestic violence. The first phase is known as the Honeymoon Phase. This phase takes from the old adage “the honeymoon is as good as it gets.” Picture the early stages of a relationship. The couple is...
by Eileen Gorski | Oct 4, 2023 | Domestic Violence
In Phase Two, the tensions begin to build. Often, some outside stressor begins to cause strife in the relationship. Maybe they’re having trouble at work, money is tight, or someone is dealing with physical health issues. An obvious tension begins to linger in the room...
by Eileen Gorski | Oct 4, 2023 | Domestic Violence
In Phase Three, the simmering tensions reach their boiling point. The abuser, feeling they have the upper hand, begins to escalate their behaviors to a new level. More name-calling, public and private humiliation, controlling the victim’s actions, destroying property,...
by Eileen Gorski | Oct 4, 2023 | Domestic Violence
The final phase, the Leaving Phase, seeks to break the continuing cycle of abuse. This can often be when the victim is at their most anxious. They may worry in the lead up about the repercussions of being caught or by the prospect of upsetting their abuser. Stopping...
by Beth Simpson | Aug 1, 2023 | Domestic Violence
This is part 1 of a 4 part reflection of a grown adult who lived through parents in a DV relationship. Have you wondered what happens to children whose parents had a unhealthy relationship or domestic violence situation? As someone who has been through it, I am here...
by Beth Simpson | Aug 1, 2023 | Domestic Violence
Last week I said I was not directly abused, but grew up seeing my mom stay in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. That impacted me as a child, and carried on into young adulthood and even middle age (now). Because I didn’t know what a healthy marriage...
