Beth Simpson

New Beginnings – Week 1

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“A beginning is a very delicate time.” ~ Virginia Madsen

August is not the typical time of year that new beginnings come up, However, for many families it is the beginning of a new school year. This is the time of year for new schedules and new school supplies. It can also be a time of new stressors if you are stuck in an abusive relationship. Adjusting to new teachers, schedules, more time (or less depending on your situation/schedule) can be overwhelming for both children and parents. If you are in an abusive situation, it can get worse as the abuser is having to adjust to the change, too. Maybe it’s time for a new beginning for you, too. Maybe it’s time for you to make that change to make things better.

New Beginnings – Week 2

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“Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.” – Jim Rohn

Change is hard, but don’t let a new start feel like giving up. Being safe, emotionally and physically healthy and yes-even happy are important and achievable things if you are willing to make a change. It’s not a simple, knee jerk decision. It requires planning and time. I recently made the big change of selling my childhood home and starting new with my own new home. Leaving behind 40+ years of memories (especially those emotional ones tied to my mother who passed a little less than 2 years ago) was a HUGE change. But while I miss many of those things, I have to say the change has been a blessed new start for me. I still miss the place, the people, the memories but I am starting new roots and memories in a place that is better for my future.

New Beginnings – Week 3

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~ C.S. Lewis

What in your current situation is keeping you down? Are you consumed with memories of the past? Hoping upon hope that the person you know and love will change? Are you afraid of losing yourself if you change or move on? You won’t know until you try. It’s painful but freeing to move on with your own life. There is a moment (or several moments) of uncertainty as you let go of the pain and reach towards something new. It can be exciting, scary, and overwhelming all at the same time to move into that future. For me, moving out on my own into a new place was all of the above. I’m far from “over” the pain of losing my mom and moving on, but it is a step, and steps add up to a stronger future.

New Beginnings – Week 4

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“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” ~ Seneca

What new beginning are you trying to get to now? Change is hard. New beginnings often require giving something else up. But the fresh start is worth it. While you can’t escape or change your past, you can “end” some of the struggles your past has by embracing a new beginning. Pick one thing at a time to let go of and move towards the future God has for you. For me, it was moving to a new home and neighborhood that didn’t have the precious memories of my mom “haunting” me daily. They are beloved memories, but I knew I couldn’t move on when surrounded by them. After time, prayer and preparation – I knew it was time. My challenge for you as I wrap up this month is this: What part of your past is keeping you from experiencing a more positive future? What steps can you begin today to make that new beginning a reality?

Back to Basics – Week 1

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Have you ever felt that you need a “reset” to get things on the right track? As humans we sometimes need to re-evaluate our actions and be sure as individuals, we are following what God wants for our life. That thought takes me back to a song from a group I listened to growing up, 4Him.

We need to get back To the basics of life
A heart that is pure And a love that is blind
A faith that is fervently grounded in Christ
The hope that endures for all time.

We as individuals are not the only ones that need to get back to basics. Sometimes businesses, churches, and even non-profit organizations need to re-evaluate and be willing to go back to those “simpler” times and make changes. Changes are never easy, but sometimes are a necessary part of growing, or reaching your goal.

Back to Basics – Week 2

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So, what does “back to the basics” have to do with Reach Out Speak Out? As a board, we have decided to go back to our roots of how Reach Out Speak Out was initially envisioned. This means some adjustments in how we do some things. Our mission is “to help women in need of assistance due to domestic violence; to provide shelter, food, clothing, and the necessities of life; to provide information through books and counseling; to enlist the help of other professionals with domestic violence experience; to speak at faith-based organizations and other community meetings regarding the warning signs of domestic violence.”

This is who we are, and always will be. How we accomplish this moving forward is one thing we are prayerfully making some tweaks on. Next week will show what is changing and how you can help.

Back to Basics – Week 3

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Going back to basics related to our mission (see last week’s blog for more on the mission) means enlisting help from YOU, and look for our community and churches to help. We need your BOGO extras to donate to our families. We need your encouraging words written to our clients on holidays, special occasions and in between. We need your creativity in putting baskets together for our auction. We need your time for delivering supplies to our families. We need prayer warrior. We need your organizational skills to plan and organize. We need your talents as mechanics, medical professionals, lawyers, plumbers, etc. who can donate a service to our families in need. We need your donations and time for our fundraisers. WE. NEED. YOU. Period.

We need your time….talent….and treasure.

Back to Basics – Week 4

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Reach Out Speak Out cannot continue to reach new clients we know are out there without your help. We have several committed board members who are passionate about what we do. We need to get back to those basics where we had people helping with time, talents, treasures. We, the board of Reach Out Speak Out cannot do this alone. We want to reach more women and families that need to hear that they are worth the effort and “trouble” of leaving an abusive relationship, knowing there is help available, and no matter what God loves them and wants the best.

To accomplish that, we need more people stepping in for an hour, a day, a few days throughout the year. Donate that “GO” of the BOGO sale, ask your friends and families for donations of gift baskets, gift cards, time, and prayers for families working to find their
“new normal”.

Come support the mission of Reach Out Speak Out and help us help more victims become survivors.

Growing Up in an Abusive Home – Part 1

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This is part 1 of a 4 part reflection of a grown adult who lived through parents in a DV relationship.

Have you wondered what happens to children whose parents had a unhealthy relationship or domestic violence situation? As someone who has been through it, I am here to give a little insight over the next several weeks of blogs.

It hurts. It has a long-term effect on those children. We see what is going on, and while we’re younger, we may not quite understand what is going on, but we can sense something is off. Even as a young child, I knew there was something different about my parents’ relationship. As I got older, I realized that my father did not treat my mom with kindness and respect. He was verbally and emotionally abusive, and that’s what I grew up seeing as “normal”.

I didn’t know there were marriages that had mutual respect and spouses that supported and encouraged each other. I knew all about the wife being submissive to her husband, but I didn’t know the husband was supposed to love his wife like Christ loves the Church. That’s the father figure I grew up with, and while not every single day was terrible, I didn’t know what a “good” marriage looked like. While my father was not abusive directly to me, I saw the toll it took on my mom. At some point in time (I forget how old I was) I guess he thought I was old enough for him to vent to me about all the “shortcomings” of my mom. (More on this in a later blog). I was fortunate to not be a direct target, but not all children are that fortunate.

Beth is an adult now and through life lessons and counseling has been able to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. But her story and what she went through as a child is a very good lesson for each of us to look at as we are in various relationships.

Growing Up in an Abusive Home – Part 2

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Last week I said I was not directly abused, but grew up seeing my mom stay in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. That impacted me as a child, and carried on into young adulthood and even middle age (now). Because I didn’t know what a healthy marriage looked like, I grew up having no desire to meet or marry someone. I didn’t want to go through what I saw happening to my mom. No way, no how! I deserved better, and was happily single and fiercely independent.

No man was going to put me down!

Thankfully, later in life my mom learned how to set up boundaries to keep herself somewhat protected. Sometimes she was very good at enforcing those boundaries, and sometimes not so much. When my my father ended up in a nursing home, and my mom finally realized he wasn’t going to come home, I could see a weight lifted from her shoulders. She was a new, free woman once My father didn’t have 24/7 access to her. Other people noticed she had more “pep in her step”. As an adult “child” then, I realized how profoundly he had affected her. I was glad to see her happier than I had ever seen before, and it gave me some hope that things could work out for some people.

As someone in my early/mid 40s now, I still have no desire to be married. I know there are MANY healthy, happy, positive marriages out there. I have seen them. However, growing up seeing and experiencing what I did, I don’t have any strong urge to see if I would end up in a good relationship or something like my parents had. I believe there is hope for all children that have lived through abuse or grown up around it.

Don’t forget about the kids that see the abuse and get them the help and counseling they need. They are the future!

Beth and her mom had a very special relationship. As her mom became ill, Beth took care of her until God saw that it was time to take her home in December, 2022.

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