Beth Simpson

You Are Loved

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You Are lovedHaving one of those days when your abuser or memories of them have you feeling down and/or doubting your worth? Don’t let the devil get you down. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE AMAZING.
Just. The. Way. You. Are.

There’s a song by Lauren Daigle that Reach Out Speak Out has “adopted” and I’m including the lyrics here:

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh, I believe
Taking all I have and now I’m laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You’ll have every victory, (ooh oh)
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe (I), oh I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
I believe
Oh I believe (I), yes I believe (I)
What You say of me (I)
Oh I believe (oh)
Songwriters: Paul Mabury / Lauren Ashley Daigle / Jason Ingram
You Say lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Look at that again….

This is not just me, or anyone from Reach Out Speak Out, or a friend or family member telling you this. God says you are loved. And worthy. And you are His! If that doesn’t thrill you, I don’t know what will. God loves you and says you are strong, even when you feel weak. The God of the universe is holding you when you are struggling and keeping you safe. He is giving you worth and loving you.

Let me leave you with this….you are loved. Be encouraged and find you strength to get yourself where you need to be…. Safety, freedom, stronger boundaries, you fill in the blank. Let God show you your worth and value and take it in – You are loved!

Here is the YouTube video if you’d like to watch/listen:

The Value Of Volunteering

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Value of VolunteeringHave you ever considered the value of volunteering? There are numerous benefits to volunteering: development of connections and networking, creates a sense of altruism, helping others is good for body and mind, generates a feeling of fulfillment, advances life skills, builds community, develops relationships, gets you socially active, and perhaps most importantly- it’s FUN!

At Reach Out Speak Out, we are always looking for auxiliary members. We only require 30 hours of volunteering a year, which averages to 2 ½ hours a month. A good portion of that time is spent in our major annual fundraiser, Purple Passion, in October. There are a number of ways to help:

Main fundraiser (Purple Passion) help

Set up/break down for events

Gathering items for silent auction

Sending thank you notes

Encouraging clients

Praying for families needs

Artistic help for assembling gift baskets

Coordinate small fundraiser

Counseling

Yardwork

Car maintenance

Reaching Out and Speaking Out to your friends about domestic violence

This is far from an exhaustive list but gives a few examples of ways everyone can be involved and help. With so many people in religious settings involved in a DV situation, one of the most needed things is simply being aware and sharing that there is hope and help.

If this sounds like something you or someone you know would be interested in helping with, please contact us!

New Year, New You?

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Like many people, I’ve been busy, tired, overwhelmed at times but enjoying life during the holidays. As I reflect in the last year and begin looking forward to the next year, I can’t help but stop and think about how much I’ve learned and grown this year. This is one of the harder blogs I’ve written so far, so without further delay-my topic this week is verbal/emotional abuse new year new you– can I leave?

**Disclaimer** let me preface this by saying I am not a counselor, theologian, psychologist, or anything of the like. What I share here is from my own experience (I grew up with an emotionally/verbally abusive father) and personal research, with as much scriptural support as I can include.

What is Domestic Violence?

While domestic violence typically brings to mind physical abuse, there is so much more than hitting/beating/punching involved in abuse. While the signs can be “hidden” by long sleeves, pants, jackets, etc., the signs of verbal and emotional abuse are much more difficult to see. These invisible scars go deeper than a physical bruise and are often happening at the same time as physical abuse. However, verbal and emotional abuse is frequently seen without any physical abuse involved (though they may lead to physical violence as well). This “invisible” abuse is more common than people realize-especially in religious settings. After all, what man (or woman) of God would think it ok to physically hurt their spouse or significant other? But giving correction, redirection, and advice (Galatians 6:1) is “Biblical”, right? And aren’t wives supposed to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22)? Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth IN LOVE. That’s the key-in love. Verbal abuse is not spoken in love.

Verbal and emotional abuse is a long-term pattern, not the occasional ugly words after an argument or fight. It wears down your self-esteem, makes you doubt yourself because negative, hurtful, demeaning things are repeated until you begin to believe they are the truth and the abuser has “won” control over your emotional and mental well-being. Over time, this can also affect your physical health as you lose the motivation and desire to take care of yourself mentally, physically and spiritually.

So, I AM being abused. Now what?

In my “untrained” opinion, prayer is first. Counseling with a pastor or Christian counselor can be beneficial if the abusing spouse is willing and able to realize and accept their responsibility. Sadly that is not often the case. The abuser often is unwilling to realize and admit fault. They often even think they’re truly being “helpful” and doing the right thing by “fixing” you. Sadly it’s a common mindset in the abuser.

Maybe you are wondering if it is just you, if you are broken, if you are not forgiving enough, taking things too seriously if you are the “bad” one… Take a look at Proverbs 10:6, Proverbs 16:27-29, Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 19:19 and Luke 6:45 for just a sampling of what God says about the evil man. Does this apply to yourself or your spouse?

Already tried the counseling, prayer, and self-evaluation? What’s next? Separation? Divorce? Is that even “allowed” in religious/Christian circles? While God doesn’t condone or encourage divorce, may I just remind you that He loves you deeply and you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). He is near the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). And He warns frequently of the power of the tongue in many scriptures. Proverbs 15:4, Proverbs 21:23, Psalms 10:7, Proverbs 10:20, James 3:8, Jeremiah 9:8, and 1 Peter 3:10 all speak about the power (for good or evil) the tongue holds. It’s a strong muscle that is often used as a weapon. Ephesians 4:29 tells us not to let unwholesome talk proceed from your mouth.

You, my friend, are not a doormat, punching bag, or anything less than deserving of God’s love and grace. While not specifically directed at marriage, Proverbs 14:7 advises us to “leave the presence of a fool”. I Samuel 18-21 is devoted to David fleeing from Saul because of Saul’s evilness and trying to harm David. Proverbs 22:24-25 exhorts us to not to associate with an angry man or you will learn his ways. I Corinthians 15:33 says “Bad company corrupts good morals”.

Stay or Go?

Only you can make this decision for yourself. Proverbs 18:14 says “The spirit of man can endure his sickness, but as for a broken spirit, who can bear it?” (NASB). Seek wisdom and guidance from the Lord and those trained to offer wise counsel. Proverbs 2:10-15 and Proverbs 3:5-8 encourage seeking wisdom from God and not just your own understanding. I encourage you to pray, seek out God’s will and guard your heart. If you’re ready to start the new year fresh and need a little help knowing where to start, check, out this previous blog, He’s Making A List, And Checking It Twice, for making/checking your list. As always, if you need someone to talk through this process with, contact reach out speak out at [email protected] or find us on Facebook.

Wishing you all a blessed, happy and safe New Year.

He’s Making A List, And Checking It Twice

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listSanta isn’t the only one that should have a list. If you or someone you know is in an unsafe domestic violence situation, you need to have your own list for when you are ready and able to leave. There’s no time like the present to make your own list and start checking it twice. While you may be waiting to get through the holidays for your kids, family, etc. this is a great time to get ready to leave safely.

What should be on your list? Legal papers (license, social security, birth certificate, passport for you and children), financial paperwork (bank statements, credit report, retirement statements, tax returns), health documents (insurance, medical history for yourself and children), paperwork for your assets (mortgage, rental agreements, car title, car insurance, etc.), personal information (phone numbers, addresses, email addresses, account passwords).

The above list is a starting point, so make your own list and check it twice. Have your escape plan ready so you can get out safely when the time is right. If you don’t have a family or friend you can go to, there are shelters available. In an emergency situation call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673).

Stay safe and have a happy holiday season. If you are able, give yourself the best gift you can and get your list started so you can get into a healthier happier new year.

Be Kind

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” ― Wendy Mass

Be kind. The ripple effects can go on foreverI was chatting with a new coworker the other day, and we were just getting to know each other. As we were both sharing where we are in life, the fun, the struggles, etc she said “See, that’s why we always have to be nice to people. We never know what they’re going through.” Wow, what a wonderful and timely reminder as we head into the busiest holiday season of the year.

Be nice. Easy, right? Not necessarily. In the hustle and bustle of shopping, cooking, planning, traveling, and more, it’s quite easy to rush and lose patience with people. Family, friends, coworkers, fellow shoppers- anyone is liable to be an outlet for our frustration. But before you lose it with the person that cut you off, consider that they, too are fighting a battle you know nothing about. Take a deep breath, smile, and be kind.

Are you or someone you know fighting a secret battle? Are you hiding bruises or scars (physical, mental or emotional)? Don’t go through it alone. Reach Out Speak Out is here to listen and help. Don’t let another holiday season go by without getting help for yourself or someone you know that needs it. Contact us at [email protected] or find us on Facebook.

‘Tis The Season Of Giving

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'Tis The Season of GivingAs we head into December, I can’t help but think about how we are entering the season of giving. Giving Tuesday may be past, but giving -baked goods, time, gifts, love is not. Not only is it the time of giving for friends and family at Christmastime, but it’s also the time to think about year-end gifts for nonprofit organizations like Reach Out Speak Out.

Who We Are

We are a nonprofit 501 3 c organization that reaches out to religious groups and organizations to speak out about how domestic violence is wrong. We offer support to women and children who are getting out of danger and back on their feet in a safe environment. Reach Out Speak Out helps in a variety of ways from a listening ear, to counseling, to short term or long term help, to encouragement and much more.

We have just reached our 5-year mark as a nonprofit, 501 3 c organization and we are really taking off! We need your help. Our first 5-year program family is wrapping up their time and we are taking on more families at the 5-year level and in many other situations that need short or long-term assistance.

Ways To Help

There are many ways to give.
Financially, you can mail a check payable to Reach Out Speak Out to P.O. Box 48797 Tampa, FL 33646. If you would rather donate online,  you can give via PayPal by using the button below:


Please consider us in your charitable giving as this tax year ends. You can feel good that you are blessing a worthy cause while you get a tax break for yourself. Individual, foundation or corporate level we appreciate your time and gift. We also have a scrip gift card program where you can buy (and donate) gift cards for your holiday and everyday shopping needs. See https://rosoprod.wpengine.com/thankscriping/ for more information.

Don’t have money to donate?  Your time and talents are incredible gifts! We are also looking for auxiliary members. Please contact [email protected] for more information on how to join us!

Post-Thanksgiving Thoughts

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“Nothing is better than going home to family and eating good food and relaxing.” Irina Shayk

Family HolidaysFamily Holidays Aren’t Always Like On TV

But what if your family is not the safe, happy, “perfect” place it appears to be to others? Many people look forward to holidays with friends and family. Yes, you may have that “crazy” family member, that one strained relationship, that recent loss you’re still grieving. Imagine that stress all day, every day, with no warning what will set it off.

For many people in domestic violence relationships, this (holidays) is the most difficult time of year. The abuser has to be on their “best guest behavior” with all the extra family and friends around. They keep up the “perfect family” appearance until the last person leaves, then the floodgates open. Maybe it’s just the regular anger/abuse/frustration. Maybe it’s even worse because they had to “behave” longer than they’re used to.

After The Holidays

When the smiles and happiness of the holidays are over, what goes on behind the closed doors of those “perfect” families? It breaks my heart to think about it. And how hard many of these families work to keep up the appearance of being ok.

Do you know a “perfect” family that isn’t so perfect? One in four women is in a domestic violence relationship. Do you know someone in a domestic violence relationship that needs help? While we cannot help until or unless the abused person is ready for it, Reach Out Speak Out is here year-round to offer support, a listening ear and help. Find us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pg/ReachOutSpeakOut/ or email us at [email protected]

 

Thankscriping is coming!!

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Thankscriping?

Wait, what? I thought it was called Thanksgiving…. Ok, so it’s both. “Scrip” is
a gift card program where you order cards and I mail them directly to you. The
best part is it doesn’t cost you anything extra, and the company gives a
percentage of the purchase price back to Reach Out Speak Out. So you can
donate to Reach Out Speak Out just by shopping.

Scrip Gift Cards Galore!

gift card Scrip Reach Out Speak OutThanksgiving, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Christmas are all coming up
soon! But you don’t just have to shop for gifts for others – shop for yourself guilt
free. And this program lasts year round so go ahead and make it a habit to stop by
for all your regular shopping needs. From gas stations to grocery, hardware to
health and beauty, department stores to dinner out, shop with scrip has
something for everyone. Use gift cards like cash/credit/check and know you
donating to a worthy cause at the same time.

Don’t want to order and wait for cards to be mailed to you? No worries!
There’s an online website MyScripWallet that offers eGift cards and reload on
select physical gift cards right from your mobile device. It’s a great instant value
anywhere you shop.

Wondering how to sign up?

This link will take you to an information and instruction page that has the enrollment code
for ROSO. Sign up soon and enroll in presto pay (safe online payment via your
checking account) to be ready for cyber Monday shopping. I will be placing the
next corporate order for physical gift cards on Saturday morning, December 1 in
order to get the gift cards to you in time for Christmas gifting.

For those near and far who would like to do something to help out our
clients and families that are survivors of domestic violence, this is a great way to
get involved! We even use this program to purchase gift cards for our clients for
Christmas and birthday presents and everyday groceries.

Feel free to contact me with any questions at [email protected]!

Thankful. Grateful. Blessed.

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During this month of Thanksgiving, I want to start off with a huge thank you to all those who helped make our 3rd annual Purple Passion event a great success! This year was our biggest and best year yet, and word is getting out. Thank you to all who donated food, items, time, and especially New Identities for allowing us to use your beautiful salon to set up. Of course, we can’t forget those who came out to support us!

For those of you wondering what Purple Passion is, it is our largest annual fundraiser where you can come to have great food, fun, fellowship and of course shop our wide variety of silent auction items. We have something for everyone and items in all price ranges. I’ve heard several people comment that we have the best variety and deals (but maybe I’m just biased…). From fall to Christmas, kids to adults, activities to gift cards, sports to spa to everyday items, we are a great one stop shop for all your holiday needs. See pics below for a sampling of this year’s items.

If you weren’t able to make it out this year, start thinking about next year. We always hold this event during October for domestic violence awareness month. Next year will be even bigger and better. We look forward to seeing you then!

Thankful Grateful Blessed Purple Passion 2018

 

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