Domestic Violence Archives · Page 6 of 10

BE The Change Week 4

January 27, 2020 by Jan Porter

BE THE CHANGE IN 2020

What will you do to help Reach Out Speak Out? You don’t know much about domestic violence and you have never experienced abuse? Here are some statistics that will educate you to why it is very important.

3 women die every day because of domestic violence
Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner.
Surprised?
The number of American troops in Afghanistan and Iraq from 2001 – 2012 saw 6,488 people killed. For the same period of time, 11,766 women were murdered by their current or ex-male partner. Huff Post
Women with a disability are 40% more likely to experience intimate partner violence
Every minute 20 people are victims of intimate partner violence
Worldwide- men who were exposed to domestic violence as a child are 3 to 4 times more likely to perpetrate intimate partner violence as an adult vs. men who did not experience domestic violence as a child
A women is beaten every 9 seconds in the United States of America
Women who are victims of domestic violence are 8 times more likely to be killed by an intimate partner if there are firearms in the house
Black women experience intimate partner violence 35% more than white women
Domestic violence is the 3^rd leading cause of homelessness among families.
Do you still feel that we should be silent about domestic violence?  Do you still believe it is a family matter and that we should not get involved with those that are in a domestic violence situation?

It is very important that we honor our military and they should be honored.  But, I personally feel that it is time to also do what God has told us to do and that is to honor our wives.

     Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” In addition to his command toward men, Paul says a wife should respect her husband.

     Proverbs 3:27 Give Honor Where Honor Is Due.

     Proverbs 3:27 – Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. If you have the power to do good, do it as unto the Lord.

Don’t wait to send flowers to her funeral.

Make 2020 the year that will be free of domestic violence!

ReachOutSpeakOut.org

[email protected]

501(3)(C) 47-1630804

BE The Change

January 16, 2020 by Jan Porter

BE THE CHANGE… Reach Out

Reach Out Speak Out encourages you to look at your own relationships and also look around you. If you have any question that there may be abuse with your family, friend, neighbor, co-worker, or that person that you see in church every week, please ask. Just as you hear in the school system…if you see something, say something. please do the same thing if you see any type of domestic violence. It is better to be safe than to let it go and then the person you know is now on the news as a domestic violence situation or even dead.

Remember that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 7 men are in some type of domestic violence relationship. Do you know three women? Do you know seven men? Then you know someone in a domestic violence relationship.

In 2020 you can BE THE CHANGE in someone’s life. You could save their life.

BE THE CHANGE…Are you the abuser? You too can change. God is in the miracle working business. There are many outlets and faith based resources that will help you be the change in your family’s life in 2020.

See the warning signs of domestic violence on our website, ReachOutSpeakOut.org. If you see yourself in any of the warning signs, 2020 can be the year to change that. Can you really say that God wants you to treat your partner the way you are treating them?

2020 is not just another calendar year turning over, it is another decade.

James 1:17: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

We need your help to spread the word to our community. If you are a church or community leader and would like more information about Reach Out Speak Out, please contact us. [email protected].

Many in our faith based community do not know how to approach the subject of domestic violence when it comes from a Biblical perspective. We have board and advisory members that will be able to walk you through the process step by step.

Did you know that we have a card that we can give to you to hand out to those that you think may be in a domestic violence relationship. That can be the first step to showing the abused that they are in a domestic violence relationship. A simple card with the warning signs on it to keep and review. We have individuals that have had that card with them for a decade. Whenever they doubt and wonder if they did the right thing by leaving, they can look at the card and realize that the first step that lead to future steps to a world free of abuse.

Be the change in 2020. Be the voice for someone that feels they have lost their voice.
Make 2020 the year that will be free of domestic violence!

ReachOutSpeakOut.org
[email protected]
501(3)(C) 47-1630804

Welcome To 2020!

January 3, 2020 by Jan Porter

woman enjoying day with scarf flying behind

Welcome to 2020!

As a survivor of domestic violence, it is sometimes difficult to think about new beginnings. As we enter in to a new decade, the messages that are out there now are that this is the time that we can start over. That we can just erase away the last decade or more of our lives and in 2020 boom, all will be well with our lives.

If you are living in a dream world, this may be in your dreams. But let’s look at what life really looks like as a person that is in a domestic violence relationship.

The good the bad and the ugly are still a part of your life. Just because the calendar changed dates to January, 2020 does not mean that you miraculously have a relationship that is rid of domestic violence.

Please let me say that it is possible to begin a new life free of domestic violence. I did not say it would be easy. There will be daily challenges. But as a survivor of domestic violence, I can tell you that you can begin 2020 without domestic violence.

At Reach Out Speak Out our first concerns are your safety. There is a safe way to leave your abuser safely. Contact us for more information ReachOutSpeakOut.org or mail us at [email protected].

If you are tired of being abused by your partner whether it is emotional, mental, physical, or financial, please know that God does not want you to be in this situation.

Ephesians 4:32: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Remember that forgiving someone does not mean that you accept the abuse you are receiving from that person. It simply means that you (yourself) can learn to forgive the person that is harming you. It does not mean that you stay in the relationship that is harmful.

Are you ready to take that first step? The first step is the hardest to take. You may not leave your abuser this week or this month. But please, take a step. Consider a safety plan and do one thing each week. Speak to someone at Reach Out Speak Out. Talk to a friend or a church/community leader. Do you have children in this relationship? It is imperative that you do not allow them to think that the way you are being treated is okay. They will grow up not knowing that domestic violence is wrong. They will continue the chain of domestic violence. Make 2020 the year that will be free of domestic violence!

ReachOutSpeakOut.org
[email protected]
501(3)(C) 47-1630804

SETTING BOUNDARIES: It’s All About Guarding Your Heart

November 14, 2019 by ShelbyKetchen

My favorite boundary story concerns my granddaughter. She was 4 years old and her papa had
been teasing her with silly nicknames and she didn’t like it one bit! She turned to him and said
emphatically, “Papa, stop doing that! I don’t like it when you call me names. Just stop it…I
have a “boundary!” I was really shocked that she knew that word, let alone how to use it. But
I was really proud of her; the fact that she knew she could say “no” to something she was not
comfortable with.

I know we have all been in situations where we have needed to take a stand and say “no” to
things that are hurting us but maybe we just didn’t know how. You may be wondering, as I did
years ago, what does a “boundary” look like? Basically boundaries are designed to protect and
honor important parts of ourselves. They enable us to “guard our hearts” by protecting our
values, emotions, time and energy from people who seek to take advantage of us. There are
times we must take a stand against things that are wrong. So having boundaries clarifies what I
will and will NOT accept in my life. Boundaries also help us take “ownership” of our lives by
learning to say “no” and not feel guilty!

The most basic boundary word is “no.” I know for many of us, saying no to others is very
difficult to do. For example, what do you do when someone asks you to work on a project that
you clearly have no time for? And you think you must say “yes” or you will feel guilty? Or think
about the person who will NOT take no for an answer…they push and push until you finally give
in, saying “yes” out of compulsion or for fear of losing their approval. It is so important to know
how to handle these situations by using some of the following boundary phrases:

I’m not comfortable with that
I disagree
No thank you
I don’t want to
I choose not to
I will not allow myself to be talked to like that
This is not acceptable

These are all phrases meant to give a clear message to those who try to take away your freedom, time, or energy. Set healthy boundaries and “guard your heart above all else, for it
determines the course of your life.” ( Proverbs 4:23)

— Contributed by Susan Adams